Welcome to the web page of
The American Comical Society
We will weather the weather whether we like it or not. Weather, Chicago style --
- 60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats.
Chicago people sunbathe.
- 50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Chicago people plant gardens.
- 40 above - Italian cars won't start.
Chicago people drive with the windows down.
- 32 above - Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
- 20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold.
- 15 above - New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt.
- 0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico.
Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over their sweatshirt.
- 20 below - People in Miami cease to exist.
Chicago people get out their winter coats.
- 40 below - Hollywood disintegrates.
Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
- 60 below - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Chicago's Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
- 80 below - Mount St. Helen's freezes.
Chicago people rent some videos.
- 100 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Chicago people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
- 297 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
- 460 below - ALL atomic motion stops.
Chicago people start saying. . ."Cold 'nuff for ya??"
- 500 below - Hell freezes over.
The Chicago Cubs win the World Series.