Welcome to the web page of
The American Comical Society
Computer Terminology --
- State-of-the-art ---- Any computer you can't afford.
- Obsolete ------ Any computer you own.
- 486 ---- The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
- Microsecond ---- The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
- G3 ------ Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."
- Syntax Error ----- Walking into a computer store and saying "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
- Hard Drive ---- The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.
- GUI ----- What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")
- Keyboard ---- The standard way to generate computer errors.
- Mouse ----- An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
- Floppy ----- The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
- Portable Computer ----- A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
- Disk Crash ------ A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
- Power User ---- Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
- System Update ---- A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.