Computer Terminology --

• State-of-the-art ---- Any computer you can't afford.
  
  
• Obsolete ------ Any computer you own.
  
  
• 486 ---- The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
  
  
• Microsecond ---- The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
  
  
• G3 ------ Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."
  
  
• Syntax Error ----- Walking into a computer store and saying "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
  
  
• Hard Drive ---- The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.
  
  
• GUI ----- What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")
  
  
• Keyboard ---- The standard way to generate computer errors.
  
  
• Mouse ----- An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
  
  
• Floppy ----- The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
  
  
• Portable Computer ----- A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
  
  
• Disk Crash ------ A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
  
  
• Power User ---- Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
  
  
• System Update ---- A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.